So here are the rules: one sentence is a favorite last line from one story last year... and one brand new sentence to start something new.
When I first read about Summer's blogfest I wasn't going to enter because I didn't have a last year's ending sentence so this is a little cheat--it is a piece of "Death and Politics at the End of the World" which I submitted as a short story, but I didn't write a short story last year so....
"Pulling out into the steady stream of traffic, I am only half aware of changing lights and turning cars as I measure my own lucidity."
if you object to my cheat you could read the ending of my blogposts from this year here and here...
"It smothers her, enclosing her in its tentacled grip of hostility and drags her down into an abyss as she struggles, even as realization dawns that there is no escaping the invisible appendages that pull her, flailing in futility until her al dente spaghetti limbs ache with the effort.
I'm glad you cheated a little and took part - you must write more. Both are great lines but the description in the second was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteHi
ReplyDeleteI came over from Summer's blogfest!
I enjoyed reading your sentences - your new one is amazing! Take care
x
Both nicely written, Danette.
ReplyDeleteLove the al dente spaghetti arms in the second.
Are you Italian by chance?
Michael
Your new sentence is great- really drags the reader in. :) Thank you fairy much for participating!
ReplyDeleteAl dente spaghetti limbs - I love it!
ReplyDeleteI can see that fogged-driving state that has nothing to do with the weather - we all know and try to avoid it.
ReplyDeleteYour opening is has a very different feel - a churning, weakening response to danger.
Wow, what great lines. The first line at the bottom of the post had me holding my breath!
ReplyDeleteOld Kitty: Thank you for dropping by and I appreciate your feedback as well.
ReplyDeleteMichael: Thanks! Not a drop of Italian- in fact almost everything but Italian and Spanish- I have just spent many years in the kitchen!
Summer: Thank you for hosting the blogfest and the kind words!
Dan: Thanks!
Elaine: Thank you for your thoughtful response!
Julie: Wow thanks! I think that is exactly the reaction I would hope to evoke!
I am glad you cheated and took part.
ReplyDeleteThe first line leaves me waiting for more.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteBoth sentences impact on the mind, which renders them memorable.
1) air of despair!
2) initial panic subsiding and giving sway to the inevitable!
Great lines. ;)
best
F
I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a cool blogfest...
Both sentences touch all the senses, very visual. I can see the steam!
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you, Danette!
Al dente spaghetti limbs is great!
ReplyDeleteGreat sentences. You're a really talented, descriptive writer. Glad to meet you.
ReplyDeleteCD
Rayna: It actually does lead to more- not a good closing but closes the "story" and I'm glad I did it too. Thanks again for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteFrancine: Thank you! I think you've described what I was trying to evoke very well!
Damyanti: It was a cool blogfest. Seemingly simple but far more complex-- at least for me!
Liz: Thank you! And thanks for dropping by! I look forward to seeing more of you!
Elena: Thank you!
Clarissa: Thank you so much! I really appreciate the kind words!!!
And thanks again to all of you who dropped by!
Love thr al dente spaghetti. I don't mind you cheating at all. ;O)
ReplyDeleteGreat sentences, I really enjoyed both of them! ;)
ReplyDeleteLiked your first sentence. Usually don't like really long sentences but your second one had me hooked until I came to "el dente". It ripped me out of it somehow. "Spaghetti" would be enough - perfect, in fact.
ReplyDelete