Sunday, February 6, 2011

Death and Politics at the end of the world

Sunday is the day I am going to be posting from my WIP so bear with me. If you are lost you can go back and read the first few pages here. The character is driving and this section is stream of consciousness so you are jumping right in to her drive down to Key West...(Thanks for any input you care to give!!) Little note: I think the paragraph immediately following this will be formatted differently... not in a paragraph. On the blog I'll leave it for now but visualize it as a chain down the left side of the paper with each shade and size of font on a different line. I think it works better...   

Maybe I should call, has to be there has to be she can’t be gone—mistake has to be—missing? That can’t be right She can’t be. Missing Went for a drive and ran out of… or maybe just needs time. Time? Maybe met someone. Left Dave? No. Can’t be right! Loves Dave. Means the world to her. She’d never. Don’t believe it for an instant. But she’s… Missing. Time for herself working too hard stress restaurant not doing wellmaybe.    Said “gone” right? GONE as in they don’t know where she is. Didn’t mean deanot dead. Gone dead?  She’s MISSINGMurdered? Oh my go- NO It can’t be that! Too terrible Think logically, doesn’t make sense. Make Sense All right… She doesn’t just take off. Not a runner, a fighter. If things weren’t going well? she wouldn’t justnot a bird. NOT her But if she were taken by force she would fight and they might… OH MY GOD
                                    The median!
Pay attention, drive, can’t think about it right now.
                        Fifty-nine miles→already
Radio… distraction…can’t think… FOCUS   
Sailing away to Key Largo
We had it all …
Just like Humfy and Bogall..  
Starring in our own la—
John may call…
doesn’t,
shouldn’t matte…
It’s over
Too many differences…
couldn’t work it out…
if I -- younger… prettier…
didn’t see it coming…


Finally, the Train Bridge: famous…  
calendar, paintings- palm trees, train track, ocean… postcard perfect…
                                                            oops, Original Overseas highway-
still a beautiful… umm, twenty feet.  
Just like Bogey and Bacall…

Watchin those old movies- fallin in love so ten-- tend --er…
                      er-rrhmmmm.  
Idiot.                                        Stupid love song IDIOT
                                 Too stupid to be believed- hormones.
Aunt missing, MISSING, MISSING
breaking up….

had to do it now, stupid man
 No more crying.

Seven Mile Bridge
  not a good place for car trouble
So high… swerve… Dive! Dive!
Eyes on the road—
A tiny key, Mini Key… Mini Mouse Key
…a piano with too many keys.
Breathe--- Breathe-- water’s beautiful… on and on. Read the signs.  

Hungry…
thirsty
Key Lime Daiquiri, Floridita--- Marguerita! 
Wastin’ away again. . .   looking for my mmm, mmm.
Banjo’s…
lots to drink...
dance,
sing…
stars…. 
End of the world… wizards and angels… 
Key West chooses you.
                     
Sunset Key.   
                                                                        hmmm hmmmm . . .
Searching for my lost shigger of salt-

Some people claim that there’s a ma-an-n to blame- Yeah there is---
It’s his damn fault.
His damn fau---
Nearly there.

God I hate Buffet…
What was that music…?     
                                     Something like…



So magical: Should have fairies,             
Palm trees forget this
                                                            spray forget that
Or, forgetting specialists, hmm---
In the real world…  bartenders
Six miles.
Drive right into the ocean…                                                   real dead end! 

Five miles to the BEST Key Lime pie

Number One Key Lime Pie…

Favorite Key Lime Pie…

Award Winning Key Lime Pie…                               Who decides these things? 
Key Lime cookies-
Key Lime cake-
Key Lime ice cream
Key Lime soup
Chocolate-covered Key-lime-on-a-stick
Key Lime off-a-stick
Key Lime Lemonade
Key Lime Margueritas
Key Lime edible underwear…    hmmmm

Some people claim that  
there’s a ma-an to blame
                                                        Song’s a virus

Hog’s Breath—God’s Breath—hamburger yummers!… with everything… fries, Bartender’s special drink---
P-Thingy.

Do these people know how to drive? For God’sake
Bone Island: Boner…
Boner Island?
Key-
Boner Key—Bonkey… 
Don key Otee.

move! I need to go!
Land of the Free because of the brave”- MOVE, moron.
Left turn, right?
Right… Right?
No! left… right.

Southernmost Point
Southernmost Real Estate
Southernmost Hotel
Southernmost Café
Southernmost Bank
Southernmost Key Lime Pie
Southernmost oxygen.

Most Southernmost
turn…

Busy!

People everywhere.
It’s a zoo…



5 comments:

  1. Some of the grey words were a little difficult for me to see. But this feels part prose, part poetry. Because of the formatting, the emotional intensity really jumps out at you.

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  2. I am continuing to enjoy this. I love how the stream flows...bouncing around, just like I think...like we all think. I think the different fonts and alignments work well, make it easier to follow. One tiny suggestion, super minor and maybe just a personal quirk, but too many exclamation points sometimes get me....I think they are important in criical places but should be used sparingly, lest they get "watered down" and lose effectiveness. But, as I said, maybe that's just me.....
    Thanks for sharing this! I want to read more :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Liz: The gray is really hard to read on this yellow! I was quite irritated about that! It's much easier to read on a white page but I appreciate that you understood the effect I was trying to get- prose/poetic.

    Sarah: Thank you! And don't be afraid to say it!!!! (haha) Too many exclamation marks and you are right as I look down the page. Going from page to page you don't notice it quite as much but when you look at it as a whole... you do! But I think that may be partly solved by changing the formatting on the first paragraph because when I did that I took out all of the punctuation.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You really capture an atmosphere... and now I'm hungry for key lime pie!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lady Fi: Thank you! and Key Lime pie is the best if it's well made!

    ReplyDelete

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